


What it Feels Like for a Girl

by jazzypizzaz



Series: Can't Buy Me Love [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien Culture, Alien Sex, Cuddling, Fluffy Ending, Gender Issues, M/M, Misogyny, Oo-mox, discomfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzypizzaz/pseuds/jazzypizzaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quark is shaken up by his sexual encounter with Odo, especially with regards to cultural gender norms.  He does what any good Ferengi does and valiantly represses these feelings, until a negotiation with Orion traders gets out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Opinions about gender are opinions of the characters and not necessarily the author.

“Quaaaark!” A familiar low voice growls.

 

Startled, Quark jumps up from where he has been leaning against a storage rack for the past ten minutes at the bar.  He drops the cold Slug-o-Cola he had pressed up against his forehead.  It bursts on impact with the ground, and the liquid oozes out everywhere.  Although he would never admit it, except perhaps for a hefty bribe, Quark’s lobes have been on edge waiting for that voice since breakfast, straining to hear its gravelly tones among the chatter of the bar.  So it just figures when that voice finally carries over the din to grate at his eardrums, it’s when he’s taking a breather for the first time since he arrived at the bar two hours early this morning, and therefore not entirely paying attention to his surroundings.

 

“You now owe me three slips of latinum for wasted merchandise,” Quark mutters.  He snaps his fingers at the nearest Ferengi waiter.  “Quit sleeping on the job and clean this up, or it’s coming from your paycheck too!”

 

Quark turns back to the person who startled him.  “Is there anything I can do for you, Odo?” he says in his best generic customer service voice.

 

Despite that he has been anxiously waiting to see Odo again for hours, now that he’s faced with that surly visage, he feels nothing but bitter irritation, probably from being on edge all day.  Quark has now been on his feet nonstop for the past hours-- in addition to the usual flux of travelers stopping by for a relaxing pitstop on their way elsewhere, it seems everyone living on the station has decided to take their date out to his bar for a morning after meal.  Romance, disgusting.  And every one of those couples had something to say about his and Odo’s performance last night.

 

On a normal day Quark would be overjoyed-- profits are up 30%!-- but he slept fitfully last night.  Then woke up extra sensitive and exposed, like his skin was stretched too tight and no longer fit him quite right.  His usual snazzy combination of a button-up shirt, waistcoat, and jacket hadn’t seemed sufficient, so he added a compression undershirt as an extra layer.  This solves the problem of him twitching every time his skin rubs the wrong way against the scratchy fabric of his button-up, but after running after customers all day the heat is getting to him.  

 

In any case, Odo picked the moment when Quark is feeling most weary and unwilling to spar as usual.

 

“Quuaaaark!”  Odo leans over the bar, grabbing Quark’s shoulder and yanking him forward so that he can growl at him up close.  “I make the mistake of extending to you the barest modicum of trust, and you-- you disgraceful vole-- take that opportunity to  _ steal from me! _ ”

 

Despite the familiarity of the gesture, Quark flinches at the contact and twists violently out of his grasp.  Odo, surprised by the reaction, releases him on instinct, but continues looming forward in his face.  Quark takes a clean handkerchief out of his pocket to mop at the sweat on his face, scowling.

 

“Good day to you too, Constable.  I see I’m an innocent being unfairly persecuted  _ as usual _ .”

 

“You’ve never been innocent a day in your life!  Pahh!” Odo scoffs. 

 

While still fuming, Odo’s eyes widen with a hint of questioning concern, flicking from Quark’s unusually sweaty forehead to where Quark has crossed his arms across his body, one hand gripping the shoulder Odo had grabbed.  Quark becomes very aware that Odo has seen him naked, and despite the multiple layers, he feels on display.

 

“When I came back to my office this morning, my stack of crime reports had all been shifted to the right  _ four centimeters _ !”

 

Quark rolls his eyes and turns away from Odo to scowl in the direction of the dabo tables.  He needs to do some fine-tuning before this evening.  “But all of them are still there?  Perhaps your encyclopedic memory”-- Quark lets out a sarcastic gasp-- “is in fact fallible?”

 

“I didn’t say any were missing, but if they’ve been moved it means  _ someone _ \-- like  _ you  _ for example-- has been reading them, stealing confidential information with the intent to hinder my investigations.  I should have trusted my instincts not to treat a petty criminal like yourself as anything more than the underhanded scum you are.”  Odo says. 

 

“I have  _ no idea _ what you’re talking about.  I went straight back to my quarters last night, to sleep  _ alone _ , and I have been here, running my business since 0600 this morning.” Quark says lightly.  Odo harrumphs in disbelief.  

 

Odo drops his voice so that no eavesdropping Ferengi waiters can hear.  “Really, I shouldn’t be surprised you would take advantage of our relationship like that, but I thought after… being with each other… you would be different.”

 

Quark turns back towards Odo, arms still clutching himself, and narrows his eyes.  He carries in a loud voice as if he hasn’t heard what Odo just said.  “In fact, I haven’t been anywhere near your office for the last three days, since-- oh-- the last time you unfairly accused me of someone else’s sloppy transgression.  I have better methods of getting leads on business opportunities than to peruse your tedious reports on who looked at who the wrong way this week.”

 

Odo’s mouth hangs open slightly in surprise.  “Last night!  After we-- I left you alone in my office to deal with Morn and--”

 

“As if you would ever trust me alone in your office, that’s a laugh!  Ha ha ha!” Quark laughs sarcastically.  “Now if you’re not going to buy anything, please move along.  I have a business to run, and I can’t do that with you staring at me all day.”  

 

Odo’s face is soft, a bit like jellied gree worms that have been left under a heat lamp too long or, rather, as if he forgot to maintain his rigidity.  He starts to reach out towards Quark, but thinks better of it and drops his hand.  “If that’s how you feel, I’ll pursue other leads and leave you be,” he says softly.

 

Quark turns his back on him to pick out a freshly chilled Slug-o-Cola from behind the bar.  He pops the tab and downs the refreshing viscous liquid all at once.  

 

When Quark turns back around, the only people there are customers wanting to exchange latinum for beverages.  Strangely, this only disappoints him.  He shudders at the thought.

 

Ezri plonks down on a seat, glancing back toward the entrance she walked in from.  

 

“Why's Odo all grumpy?  I would've thought after last night“--she waggles eyebrows-- “he would loosen up a bit, at least on giving you a hard time.  Heh hard time.  Oh unless you're into that? Ooooohh Is that... a thing, the yelling?  I get it!  When Nerys first said Odo was singing to you, romantically, I was like whaaaaat because I mean Jadzia knew you two don't hate each other as much as it looks like, but  _ still _ that’s kinda weird to always be yelling at someone you’d rather make out with, but if it’s foreplay--”

 

“Please please don’t speculate on my sexual life, it’s embarrassing for both of us,” Quark says rolling his eyes.  “Someone moved his crime reports and  _ of course _ he thought it was me, stealing whatever apparently important information was on them.  But it wasn’t...  Well, this time.  Try telling that to Odo though, no trust.”  

 

Ezri looks stricken. “Oh gosh.” She slaps a hand to her cheek.  “I am so sorry.  That was… me.  Well,” she tilts her head thoughtfully, “I think it was the Curzon in me, itching to mess with Odo a little, loosen him up.  Jadzia used to hide embarrassing erotica around his office, so I thought that’s what the stack was… but the counselor in me, Ezri-me, felt bad about it, so she, I mean I, got myself under control and set the stack back down…”

 

She stops her explanation for a moment to focus back on Quark.  “Wait, what was that about your sex life?  Did you two… have a nice time last night?”

 

“We…” Quark starts, before waving his hands as if to brush off her questions.  “Nothing, nothing happened.  Are you going to order?”

 

“Really?  Nothing?  Or... _ nothing? _ ” She winks suggestively.  “C’mon you know I won’t stop bugging you until you tell me.”

 

“Oh fine.” Quark pauses to make sure no one nearby can overhear them and leans in.  “He pretended like he was going to arrest me, but didn’t, and then I kissed him-- I’m an excellent kisser, I’d be willing to show you-- and then we may have done…. ‘nothing’... but then he decided to… Oh, it’s not important.”  

 

Quark sighs then looks back at her and puts on a wide but strained toothy grin.  “What about you and Colonel Kira?  What did you lovely fe-males do last night without me?  Would you enjoy some  _ company _ later from someone with a set of proper lobes for you to stroke?”

 

“Don’t be an ass.”  She narrows her eyes at him, like she’s looking right through him.  Quark fidgets and refrains from crossing his arms back over his body.   It looks like she’s about to say more, but instead takes the bait for a subject change.  He brings her lunch and manages to keep redirecting any conversation she starts to all of Kira’s best qualities (even though doesn’t tell him the juicy stuff, it’s still a long list), until Dr. Bashir ventures in. 

 

“Hello there doctor, nice to see you taking a break from the Replimat.  Can I interest you in a… lunch time Romulan Ale?  I won’t tell your patients.”  Quark winks.

 

“Salutations, all!  No but, a synthale would certainly hit the spot, and some I’danian spice pudding.  I have a midday break so that I can cover a night shift.  May as well celebrate!”  Julian says, a sappy grin on his face for no apparent reason. 

 

“Indulgent!  I like it.  More people should take up day drinking, I always say.”  Quark ought to figure out a way to throw regular romance-themed parties; if more Starfleet officers reacted the way Julian did to getting laid, he’d make a killing.

 

“Ah hello there Ezri!  Doing well today?  It’s a beautiful afternoon isn’t it?”

 

“Yes fine Julian,” Ezri says bemused.  Mostly she seems to be relieved Julian is no longer mooning over her.  “I trust you got everything you wanted out of the Valentine’s Day party?”

 

“Ohh, and then some!”  Julian grins and winks at her.  “It seemed to be going much a similar way for you and Kira.  I admit I was disappointed at the beginning, but everything seems to have worked out exceptionally.  Garak and I had the most amazing--”

 

“Ahhh ah ah,” Quark interrupts loudly, setting down Julian’s order in front of him.  “I really really do not want to know.  Do me a favor and save the lurid details of your love life for O’Brien.  The less I know about what Garak gets up to after hours, the safer I feel.  You can’t be interrogated over information you don’t have.”

 

Julian quirks a skeptical eyebrow at that, but his smile doesn’t waver.  “Well then I will refrain from asking about you and Odo, eh?”  He leans in, with an intense look on his face.  “Although… from an academic standpoint, I have a number of questions about… logistics.  Now, I’ve studied the bare basics of Ferengi anatomy in textbooks of course, but the details are hazy.”

 

Quark shrugs.  “Not surprising, most Ferengi medical research requires usage fees to obtain.  What do you need to know?  I could hook you up with the right experts, for a price.  Or if I know the answer myself, I’m willing to give you a discounted rate.”   

 

“Oh nothing specifically.  The Academy didn’t think it necessary to pay Ferenginar for more detailed uh medical accounts concerning, well, for one example-- reproductive acts.  Being a doctor isn’t just about physical ailments-- it’s in my best professional interests to be able to advise practices for cross-species relationships as well.”  

 

Quark contorts his face in a look of disgust.  “Rom and Leeta aren’t trying to have a baby, are they?”  He pauses, thoughtful. “Nah, he would have asked to borrow money.  He doesn’t have the latinum for that kind of contract.”

 

“Not that I’d tell you if they were, doctor patient confidentiality and all that.  I suppose my main questions are more sociological in nature.  For example, many sexually dimorphic species like humans no longer prescribe to rigid gender roles.  However, Ferengi-- which to my understanding have biologically similar appearances across sex and gender lines-- have strict rituals with regards to clothing and being naked, and yet their genitalia--”

 

Quark stares at him with a look of mild horror and chuckles nervously.  “Ha ha, nice try Doctor.  If I didn’t confess to Ezri about my sex life, I’m certainly not telling you.  Save your ‘academic’ musings for ‘lunches’ with Garak.”  He fiddles with his sleeves and collar, trying to loosen it around his pulse points, feeling constricted and still overly hot.  

 

Ezri tilts her head and leans in with concern.  “Are you doing alright Quark?  You don’t seem like yourself.  I can tell something happened with--”  

 

“There  _ have  _ been several reports of Tellarite flu on the station recently--” Julian starts.

 

“I’m  _ fine _ doctor.”  Quark nods towards Ezri pointedly. “ _ Counselor _ .  Neither of you can help me.  Now, I’m expecting an important delegation to visit this evening and have to prepare.  Holler at Broik if you need anything else.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings in this chapter for sexual harassment, misogyny, objectification, minor violence, and Orion slave girls. Quark is his canon skeevy self, but he’s called out for being a dick. The Orions are like crude frat boys. It’s also my understanding that in the series Enterprise it’s “revealed” that the Orion females actually have societal power over the males, and the “slave” part is just for show. You can interpret it that way in this fic if you’d like, but it doesn’t come up overtly.

Quark gives himself one last look over in the reflection of a blank viewscreen, smoothing down the lines of his jacket. He removed his undershirt during the late afternoon lull and changed into a fresh-- dry, non-sweaty-- suit. His skin still feels wrong, prickling and exposed, but after running around all the day the heat and sweat are worse. He takes a deep breath and makes his way over to the group of large bald men with bright green skin. One green woman follows behind them with her head down, scantily clad.

“Welcome to Quark’s! I’ll be at your service tonight.” Quark bows in greeting, his wrists together. “It’s been too long since Orions have enjoyed what my bar has to offer, so I will personally be giving all my attention to making sure you have a pleasurable time. Whatever your heart desires, I can find a way to do it for you. Just say the word.”

Ever since Quark served as a witness against the Orion Syndicate several years ago, any Orions-- affiliated with the Syndicate or not-- had avoided his establishment. He wasn’t sure if this had been a warning for him to not get involved again or if they simply had better places to be, but in any case he was desperate to get back in their good graces, at a bare minimum to avoid death threats. Quark has no intention of getting tied up in their more dangerous affairs, but they do have good connections to the blackmarket. Like Rule of Acquisition #189 says, “Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.”

The Orions glance at each other with raised eyebrows and burst out laughing, slapping each other on the back. “You, little Ferengi? And what pleasures could you give us that the infamous talents of Orion slave girls could not?”

Quark’s skin crawls like mites have made their way up his sleeves. Perhaps he should have risked the sweat and worn the undershirt after all. He chuckles nervously. “Not the pleasures I was referring to, although I assure you that our dabo girls have the charm and beauty to match any women in the galaxy. Excluding this fine female specimen of course.” He grins luridly at the silent woman behind the group of men.

“Dabo it is! But keep your eyes on your own women, she’s our property.”

“Of course. What I meant to say before was: can I interest you in any beverages? Saurian brandy or perhaps our local springwine?”

They place their drink orders, and Quark snaps his fingers at Broik, who is loitering nearby, to fetch the beverages. One of the men goodnaturedly claps Quark on the back, causing him to stumble forward a bit, before proceeding up to the dabo tables. There’s a stool in the corner of the room that Quark doesn’t remember being there earlier. He squints at it suspiciously before turning back to his guests. He feels a bit safer and less nervous than he did before.

“Hi, I’m Aluura! Welcome to Quark’s. Step right up and try your luck! Go ahead and give it a whirl,” says the dabo girl of lizard-like species at their table.

She is dressed in a [shiny gold lame’ dress](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Tammy_Rodriguez) with a large underboob cutout that normally Quark regards as a good investment for holding customers’ attentions. However, tonight he is quite aware that [both the Orion](http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Orion) males, with their exposed chests, and the female with her barely-bikini style outfit, are exposing far more skin than Aluura. Quark is now worried that the Orions, known for their carnal sexuality, will be disappointed in their experience tonight. He regularly frets that his female staff are overdressed, certainly by Ferengi standards, but as a multicultural bar it’s usually better business for them to be revealing in a way that statistically more species would consider racy but still tasteful. (Plus, having more leeway in clothing was part of the union agreements he tries to forget ever happened.) Tonight he’s not so sure.

While the Orions don’t give her a second glance, to his relief they do seem to be having a decent time regardless of the eye candy. Of course, this is probably because they are depleting him of latinum.

“Aaahhhh-- DABO!” The Orions cheer as they win their third round in a row. Quark glares at Aluura-- do something. Did she forget to adjust the odds on the table again?

“Wow, you guys have such a talent for this sort of thing. I adore a man with good fortune on his side.” Aluura winks at the Orion that just spun and strokes his arm admiringly. “Why don’t you go double or nothing this next round? I assume your appetite for risk matches the size of your muscles.”

“We do have… quite an appetite, for many things!” The Orion laughs heartily, squeezing her waist briefly. The other Orion males laugh along, their eyes looking her up and down, salacious.

While she has their attention, Quark reaches under the table to fiddle with a few switches. To get on their good side, it’s best if they win at least a few rounds, but profit is profit.

“Unlike this small Ferengi, we are well-endowed. Tell me, Quark, do you have a woman at home you please each night?” They spin the wheel, but to Quark’s relief, no dabo.

“Heh uhh sure you could say that.” An image of Odo flashes through his mind-- his eyes hooded and sultry, Odo shifts into a naked Bajoran female’s body, stretched out alluringly on a bed, while keeping his smooth masculine face the same. Bajoran-female-Odo looks down at Quark’s pants, squints, and frowns in disappointment.

Quark shakes his head rapidly to clear the disconcerting daydream. “And a different one each night! It’s the best part of being in my line of work.” He slaps Aluura’s ass, and she puts on a flirtatious smile as a show for the Orions, but when she look away from them towards him it’s with a glare that means she’ll be taking this to Sisko. Again.

“However, a Ferengi man’s true worth is measured by the size of his accounts. In fact,” Quark continues, letting go of Aluura and walking towards the Orion female, who has been standing submissively in the background. “I’ve been considering hiring musical acts for the bar to boost sales. The dancing of your fe-males is renowed across the Quadrant. How would I go about recruiting a couple? On a part time, trial basis.”

“A little weak man like yourself could not handle one of our girls. Their sensuality would not appeal to those who are basically female themselves.”

Most insults slide off Quark’s back as long as he’s taking their latinum, but this rankles him. It burrows under his skin, wrong wrong, and he momentarily forgets how dangerous Orions can be. He glances towards the displaced stool still in the corner, then puffs his chest up and extends an arm around the Orion woman’s waist.

“Hey honey, I like how quiet you’ve been. That’s a good quality in a fe-male. Do you… dance? Interested in a job? I can make it worth your while...” His hand slip lower on her waist towards her mostly exposed butt, while he brings the other one up to turn her face towards his. For her part, she continues to say nothing, but her eyes flick in warning to the males. Quark stands on tiptoes, craning up to kiss her cheek.

“Do not touch what you do not own! Surely even a Ferengi can understand that.”

“Why of course, Rule of Acquisition number 110, property belongs to those who defend it from theft,” Quark stammers, retracting his hands from the woman and holding them defensively in front of him.

The largest Orion looms towards him, yanking Quark off the woman and tossing him to the side. Once Quark slams against the ground, he feels a crunch in his chest, that can’t be good.

“Please please, I didn’t mean it! What can I offer you? Drinks for the rest of the night are on me! Anything, please!” Quark scuttles away from where the growling Orions loom over him.

“Pick on someone your own size!” says a small, high-pitched voice from behind Quark. Ezri, breathing hard, lunges at the large men. She jams an elbow in the gut of one man, while the heel of her hand jams out to break the nose of another.

Quark has now backed himself up against a wall with nowhere else to scuttle to. While Ezri is keeping most of the men busy, the large one who threw him down has refocused back on Quark. Quark throws his hands in front of his face, hissing, and through his fingers he sees a beige blur lunge at the Orion, whose fist is rapidly progressing towards Quark’s face.

The last thing Quark says before he blacks out is, “Odo, my guardian!”

\--------------------

“Shhh shh shh you’re safe now. Calm down and stop flailing you’ll only hurt yourself worse.”

Quark opens his eyes, blinking rapidly until the bright lights of the infirmary come in focus. Julian is hunched over him, scanning a medical tricorder over his body. He realizes the high-pitched whining he hears is emitting from his own mouth, so stops. His body feels like a beetle that has been stepped on, the exoskeleton cracked and juices leaking out of the side, but in reverse. His heart is pounding out of his chest, so he focuses on slowing his rapid, shallow breathing.

Julian presses a hypospray to Quark’s neck, and Quark feels instant relief. “I’ll be able to patch you up right as rain in a couple more minutes, but you’ll need to take it easy for a few days. You’re lucky he went for the head, Ferengi skulls are remarkably thick.”

“Yeah I feel like I just won the lottery,” Quark grumbles. “Where’s Odo? Beating some sense into those idiots, I assume?”

“That was an incredibly stupid thing to do Quark,” Ezri says. She is standing to the other side of Quark, her arms crossed.

He looks her up and down. She’s wearing black tights and a shiny blue tunic with an asymmetrical collar. The tunic has been ripped along the shoulder, and the skin on her face has bright pink patches, as if it has been newly healed. Her hair is sticking up in awkward spikes.

“Like you should talk,” Quark says. “But ‘you should see the other guy’ I presume? Odo was right behind you, you didn’t need to get yourself hurt for me.”

“Odo wasn’t around, Quark-- I was closest so I had to intervene so that those guys wouldn’t kill you. I was on a date, a good one too, and I was opening up to Nerys about my mother and my weird family issues, and we were having a moment, and I felt like Ezri Dax for once, a whole person because she sees me, until I hear yelling from the second level, and then Jadzia and Joran and who knows who else gang up on Ezri, and the next thing I know I’m pulling out Klingon warrior moves I didn’t realize I could do, and you’re laying on the floor bleeding from your nose, and I’m not a fighter Quark, I’m a counselor, I’ve taken courses in peaceful conflict resolution and--”

“Ezri! Ezri, take a few deep breaths for me. Easy does it.” Julian interrupts her increasingly rapid babbling as he continues waving a medical regenerator over Quark. Ezri obeys and the scrunched scowl on her face relaxes, but she still looks pissed.

Quark snorts. “Not that I doubt your counseling skills, but I don’t think they were interested in talking it out Ezri… though uhh I appreciate you and everyone inside you coming to my rescue. What do you mean Odo wasn’t there?”

“Odo, Kira tells me, has been avoiding your bar since this morning-- the Bajoran deputies that rushed in would have been too late if I hadn’t stepped in,” Ezri says, and Quark’s stomach drops in disappointment. Odo staying away should be a blessing-- who knows what kind of black market deals he could have worked out with the Orions if he hadn’t bungled it first-- but it doesn’t feel that way.

Ezri continues: “And, well, maybe next time I won’t save your ass. Maybe you should be punched in the face every now and then until you get your shit together, p’taq.”

“Aww sweetheart, how about as a sign of my gratitude I’ll give you three hours of complimentary holosuite time. You can even borrow my copy of Vulcan Love Slave III if you let me tape--” If Odo’s not even surveilling Quark when Orions are at his bar, it means things really are weird between them, and not just on his end. He can’t afford to lose Ezri’s friendship too.

“Don’t sweetheart me! That’s what got you into this mess, and your perving makes it really hard for your friends to want to bother defending you. Aluura, said you were sexually harassing--” Ezri says, hands on her hips.

“Hey hey whoa that’s not what happened! It was about pride, not about harassing anybody. You don’t know what it’s like, as a fe-male-- they were insulting my manhood. Tell her, Julian, you understand right?”

“Oh don’t bring me into this. I may be obnoxious at times, but I do know when to back off.” Julian glances quickly at Ezri, still waving the regenerator over Quark’s body. “Eventually. And I’ve certainly never grabbed anyone’s ass… without their permission.”

“Quark, I’ve been a man, four times! More importantly, I’ve been a woman, and I know how bad it feels to be violated to prop up a man’s ego. This isn’t a new problem with you, but skeeving on an Orion woman while her males are present is foolhardy even for you. Whatever happened between you and Odo, you need to sort out your feelings with him before your actions have worse consequences.”

“Odo? What does any of this have to do with Odo? Why would you say that?” Quark says, his eyes flicking nervously between Ezri and Julian.

“Yes, what does Quark assaulting people have to do with me?” Odo says, walking into the infirmary.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut in this chapter. I'm not sure if this counts as Mature or Explicit? I think my gauge is off.

“Yes, what does Quark assaulting people have to do with me?” Odo says, walking into the infirmary.

“Odo! You do care! Assaulting--? If anything, I’m the victim here--”

“You know what? I have done more than enough for tonight, so if you will excuse me, I’m going to go reschedule that date your repressed issues so rudely interrupted. You’re free to schedule an official counseling appointment with me tomorrow. Good night.” Ezri heads toward the exit, but stops when Quark yells out.

“Ezri wait!” He takes a breath and, his wrists together and fingers curled in, covering his heart, says softly, “Thank you. I'm sorry.” Her face twists into a strained smile. She nods in acknowledgement and exits.

Julian’s instrument gives a loud beep, and he clears his throat to get their attention. “Quark is healed and free to leave the infirmary now, Odo, if you him need for… questioning… you may take him elsewhere.”

Silence hangs thick in the air, as Quark and Odo just stare at each other. Julian clears his throat again then occupies himself doing work on a nearby computer console. 

“I thought you were the stool in the corner.”

“No.”

“Well I realize that now,” Quark says feeling stupid.

“My deputies were on patrol, of course, but they don’t have the reflexes I do.”

“I didn’t mean to start anything. I really am sorry.”

Odo lets out an exasperated breath. “I know. If only because there doesn't seem to be any apparent profit motive.”

“I thought you would be watching me. You always watch me.” Quark means for it to come out grumpy, but his voice trembles. 

Odo looks at him sheepishly, his face a bit gooey. “I thought you didn’t want me around. More than usual I mean.”

“Well next time you decide what I want, let’s hope I don’t get pummeled in the process.”

“Yes we can only hope that doesn’t happen,” Odo says sarcastically. He scrunches his face, as if considering something else but doesn’t address it. “I do need to hear your version of tonight’s activities, though, in a more secure area.” 

Julian looks up briefly from the console at that but doesn’t interrupt.

Odo reaches out towards Quark sitting on the sick bed to grab his arm, but pulls back before he makes physical contact. His arm still partly outstretched, Odo instead gestures towards the door with his head, follow me. Quark glances at the arm hanging awkwardly and grabs Odo’s hand to leverage himself out of the infirmary bed. Odo’s eyes widen comically, but Quark doesn’t let go even once he’s standing upright.

“Well, let’s go then,” Quark says peevishly.

As they walk-- Odo has thankfully slowed down his strides to better match Quark's-- Quark keeps glancing down at their entwined hands then back up at Odo, who seems to be only paying attention to the corridor in front of them. The solid presence of Odo’s smooth hand in his feels… good? It feels grounding. Some of the tenseness he didn't realize was there releases from his body for the first time all day.

“Wait, why aren't we going to the security office?”

“Well if you'd rather--” Odo says bemusedly, and he pretends to slow down.

“No it's fine! This is fine.”

So Odo isn’t threatening to arrest him immediately. If Quark plays his cards right, he can not only get off without jail time, he can also get off. (Maybe there’s more he can get from Odo, but he refuses to acknowledge this latent hope.) Once they're at Quark’s quarters, Quark leads Odo by the hand to sit beside him on his bed. He takes a deep breath and plunges in.

“I know I crossed a line with Aluura, and I won’t fire her for telling.” 

Odo stares at him flatly, his arms now crossed. He scoffs.

Quark hurriedly adds: “And I’ll apologize! Profusely. With a hazard bonus?”

Odo continues staring at him blankly. “Hrrumph.”

“Aaaand I may have been too forward with the fe-male Orion, but I was only trying to offer her a job. With pay and everything! Ferengi don’t buy slaves.”

Odo quirks an eyebrow. “But you do restrict your women to the home and exploit your employees.”

“Do I restrict any women? Do I exploit my employees… anymore than necessary?”

“You aren’t happy about your mother earning profit and wearing clothes…” Odo shrugs casually and leans back on his arms. “Not that I care as long as you don’t break the law.”

“And is upholding Ferengi tradition a crime? Ferengi fe-males are supposed to be naked, men wear the clothes! What does that have to do with--?” Quark knows how to sniff out Odo’s interrogation techniques by now, but that doesn’t mean he likes where this is going. “Wait, this isn’t about the Orions anymore is it?”

Odo cocks his head and his face is pinched as he speaks next. “Did you feel… discomfort last night? With me, undressing you? Being naked?”

“Well yeah…” Quark squirms. “I’m not female, and I have the lobes to prove it.”

“I’m not female either,” Odo says and Quark rolls his eyes. “But I’m not male necessarily.”

Quark scrunches his face at Odo like he’s an idiot. “Well you’ve sure made a grand pretense into pretending you are.”

Odo shrugs. “I modelled myself after Dr Mora. And Cardassians assign more military and political authority to males, so it was convenient. Personally I don’t care either way, but it saves unnecessary conversation.”

“That sounds tiresome.”

“Do you wish I were female?” Odo says, and the image of naked Bajoran-female-body with Odo’s head flashes back into Quark’s mind. He can’t tell if what’s so disconcerting is that he’s repulsed by the thought or excited by it.

“As long as I have my lobes, and you like stroking them, I don’t care.”

“My solid form makes no difference to me-- my liquid state is my true self. It’s the most effective way for me to enjoy the pleasures that solids do. I don’t… have sexual desires per se, the urges of your humanoid bodies, but I can vicariously tap into your sensations through my natural state.”

“Yeah.” Quark mouth goes a bit dry, remembering.

“It seems to mimic a form of linking, through bare skin. In my… admittedly limited sexual experience with solids, they seem to enjoy the deepest feelings of intimacy when there is maximum skin exposure. I assumed it would be the same for you.” Odo hesitates before placing a hand on Quark’s upper back.

Quark scowls and shrugs. Odo retracts his hand. “Yeah.”

“Should I… not have undressed you? Did you not… want that?” Odo’s voice is strained.

Quark considers how good it felt, Odo touching him everywhere he’s never been touched, versus the lonely aftermath and the twitchiness he’d been feeling all day. “I don’t know.” Odo’s pinched face doesn’t change, so Quark adds: “I liked the goo thing you did. It was weird. But. I liked it.”

Odo’s face relaxes with that, and Quark smirks, a conspiratorial glint in his eye. “Although… I might want to try it again, the goo-mox. Just to be sure!”

A jellied ripple passes over Odo’s body, and Quark takes that as a sign. He climbs onto Odo’s lap, one leg on each side of him. Quark stares into Odo’s widened eyes, puts his hands around Odo’s shoulders, and kisses him, his mouth moving slow and open. Odo becomes rigid, then relaxes into the kiss, and his hands shoot to clutch Quark’s lower back. He lengthens his neck so Quark doesn’t have to crane down to reach him (but not much-- Quark is quite small).

The kissing becomes rougher, and Quark fists his hands into Odo’s hair, moaning. His lobes start to tingle, but he’s in no hurry for Odo to get to them.

Odo growls. He grips Quark’s waist, and flips Quark onto his back on the bed, Odo on top pressing him down. 

An electric thrill pulses through Quark, trapped beneath Odo. He opens his eyes blinking rapidly, but keeps his legs wrapped around Odo’s waist. Quark groans and writhes under Odo, rubbing his whole clothed body against him. Odo plunges back in to kiss him, and relaxes the solidity of his lips so that there’s a concentrated link at this point of exposed contact between them, electric feedback sizzling between their lips. 

Odo sinks his body down so that he’s completely immobilizing Quark underneath him, forearms pinning Quark’s shoulders. Quark’s heart pounds as he realizes he couldn’t get away if he tried. The throbbing in his ears grows more urgent, and he whimpers. Odo brings a hand up to caress the inner ridges of Quark’s lobe, breaking the kiss to watch Quark’s face.

Quark lets out a guttural moan and arches his back. It’s fantastic, Odo’s smooth hands firmly rubbing his lobes, and it’s all a Ferengi male should want, but now Quark knows what else is possible and he wants more. “Wait,” he breathes.

Odo stops immediately and lifts his body off Quark to get a better look at his face. Quark wriggles out from underneath, and, with a sidelong glance, starts fiddling with clasps and buttons, first removing his jacket, then his waistcoat, then lastly his button-up. He leaves his pants and boots on.

Odo watches this guardedly. “It’s fine if you don’t.”

Quark lays the clothes flat on the ground, smoothing them to prevent wrinkles, then after a pregnant moment stands and looks back up at Odo. “I want to.” 

His bare skin prickles with exposure to the air, with the thrill and wrongness of being seen, with anticipation. He fights the urge to fidget.

Odo gets a predatory look in his eye, grabs Quark, and throws him back onto the bed. He maintains bodily form, kissing Quark senseless and rubbing his hands all over his exposed skin, then melts the top half of his body, keeping the lower half solid to pin Quark to the bed. With Odo oozing over Quark’s torso, skin tingling, Quark gasps. Some of Odo oozes to trickle between the ridges of Quark’s ears, flowing then receding then crashing into them again like waves at a seashore.

“Hnnnggg guuh,” Quark says eloquently.

Quark’s blood pulsates through him in time to Odo lapping at his lobes, and they lose themselves in the sensations, throbbing with wonder, drinking in each others’ pleasure.

The waves build, Odo-goo buzzing in joy and Quark’s heart thumping wildly, faster and faster, until it becomes almost too much-- then Quark’s tensing with orgasm, he gasps, and wetness releases beneath.

“Hrrrmm,” Quark lets out a last whimper, lying boneless on the bed. 

Odo resolidifies and moves to get off Quark, but Quark pouts, eyes droopy, and pulls Odo back down alongside him. Quark stretches his body against Odo’s side, an arm and a leg thrown across. “Hmmph,” Quark sighs in contentment.

Now Odo is the one pinned, by a cuddling Ferengi no less, which is a situation either of them would have scoffed at two days ago, but at the moment feels natural. They lay there quietly for a moment before Odo breaks the silence.

“You realize I’m going to have to take you back to spend the rest of the night in a holding cell right?”

“WHAT,” Quark squawks, reverie broken. 

“You have to be joking.” He twists his neck to peer at Odo’s face, but there’s no hint of a smile. “You’re not joking?! Way to ruin a moment.”

“You still harassed an employee and started a bar fight. I’m a security officer, I can’t let justice slide, we should agreed to that,” Odo says gruffly.

Quark pouts before getting a devilish look on his face. “Well as Chief of Security, if you were to keep an eye on me all night, in say a more private location, it’s effectively the same as a jail cell, right?”

Odo hrrumphs and considers. “I suppose it’s within my discretion to decide if house arrest is a suitable option.”

Quark buries his face in Odo’s chest. “Stay with me,” he whispers. Sleeping in his own quarters is better than a jail cell, and Quark pretends this is why he grips at Odo a little tighter.

“I’ll watch over you,” Odo says, oddly touched by the strange physical affection Quark is showing. Quark hasn’t moved to get his clothes, but Odo converts his arm into a blanket to drape over him just in case that helps. He can’t think of any compelling reason why they should leave this bed. Quark burrows underneath the blanket-arm humming in contentment. 

“It’s weird that you don’t have any spit, and your hands are too smooth,” Quark mumbles, his heart not in it.

“You’re overly lumpy, and you make obnoxious noises,” Odo says affectionately.

“Wait, during sex or just in general?”

“Both.”

“Oh okay,” Quark mutters, half-conscious.

Quark’s breathing slows and deepens. Odo indulges the small half-naked Ferengi clinging onto Odo as if soaking up every inch of body contact possible, for a while longer and holds him until he drifts off into a deep content sleep. Once Odo is sure Quark won’t wake up, he reverts to his liquid state, the Changeling droops over Quark like a jelly blanket and cuddling in his own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


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